Singapore Short Story
Theme: Becoming
Method: Your protagonist is living in Singapore at the time of your story.
I was a citizen of Australia. I migrated to Singapore a few days ago to get a job. I am a skilled photographer, and I was offered a job here in Singapore. My plane landed a few days ago and I am currently living in a hotel. Before I came to Singapore, I did a little research on it. I found out that Singapore is actually the fourth densest country in the world! In comparison to Australia, there is an estimate of 2.4 people per square kilometres, while Singapore had 5540 people per square kilometres! I was in shock at that time. I didn’t expect Singapore to be so overcrowded. In Australia, each house was very far apart from each other, but the first thing I noticed when I came to Singapore was the building arrangements. Most of the buildings were just a few metres apart, and there were multiple floors where many people can live together. I heard that those buildings were called HDB Flats.
During the first few days since my arrival at Singapore, I noticed that the weather was scorching. Singapore is year-round summer and was really hot especially during midday. Australia’s average temperature throughout the whole year is about 24 Celsius. That is a very huge difference between Singapore’s temperature. I guess I better start getting used to Singapore’s temperature if I’m going to stay here for long.
I spent my remaining time before I started work exploring Singapore. I didn’t expect myself to take a very long time exploring such a small country, but I was wrong. The public transports were almost always packed with people and the traffic was almost as bad as in Australia. So, I decided to walk if my journey wasn’t too long. I always brought along my camera wherever I go so that I could capture every moment of my life. I visited the Singapore Flyer (which I thought was very expensive), the Merlion, the Casino and other famous places. But what caught my attention the most was the Night Market (Pasar Malam). The Night Market got its name from the Malay word “pasar”, which means market, and “malam”, which means night. I found the Night Market very interesting and it was something Australia didn’t have. The Night Market, which I was told, is actually made of a makeshift tent and the vendors just set up their stalls inside the tent. The thing that surprise me the most were the people that were there. The Night Market was totally filled with people. I’ve am almost thirty-years-old, yet I have never seen that many people in my whole life. I went to many tourists attractions in Singapore but I did not see that many people. Perhaps most of them were at work, but the sheer size of the crowd at the night market was astounding. Maybe it was because I came from a country which was very huge and the human density was very low, I did not see so many people often thus I felt very nervous and excited. The vendors at the Night Market sold all sort of stuff such as food, accessories, and clothing. I could not help myself but ate a few “satays”, also a Malay word. I enjoyed my time at the Night Market and it was seriously an eye-opener for me.
Finally, it was the last day of my free time before work started, and there was only one last place I wanted to visit was the food court! I wanted to try out some of Singapore’s delicacies ever since I came to Singapore. During the past few days, I tried the Hainanese Chicken Rice, laksa and roti prata. All the food I tried was delicious and I couldn’t wait for more. I’ve heard about the famous chilli and black pepper crab but I’ve never tried it before. Thus, I was going to eat this famous crab. When I reached the stall at East Coast Park, there was an enormous queue lining up for the chilli crab. Not wanting to miss out on this opportunity, I rushed in and queued up as well. The Jumbo Seafood, selling all kinds of seafood dishes, is the most popular seafood restaurant ever in Singapore. When the food finally arrived on to my table, I quickly gulped down my food, as if someone was about to steal my food. The chilli tasted incredible, no wonder all Singaporeans liked it. The chilli and the crab mixed nicely together, and the chilli was just right. I liked it so much I decided to come by next time when I had a chance.
Unfortunately, I had to start work. Being a photographer means that there are hardly any free time. There are usually many events we need to take part in, so we don’t really have a lot of free time. Although I have only been in Singapore for a few days, I find Singapore very interesting and fun to live in.
Weng Khin, you include a lot of details here about Singapore, but it reads as if right out of a guidebook. What you've written is an essay thinly disguised as a recount, neither form of which is correct. You need to write a narrative.
ReplyDeleteWhere's your plot? Who's your protagonist? Other than the fact that he's a photographer, I know nothing about him. What are his opinions, his feelings, his motivations? And on that note, if he is a photographer, he would have an exceptional eye for detail, and this is not evident here.
Even as you list different facts about Singapore, it all remains vague and nonspecific. Think about how Singapore must look and feel and smell and sound to a foreigner, and then make your character experience these things. For example, when you say, "The chilli tasted incredible," what does this mean? What does "incredible" taste like? Does it burn his tongue, bring a flush to his face, make him sweat. Is it so spicy that he gets a high from it?
You'll need to do some substantial rewriting to turn this into a proper narrative for your final draft.
For your story, it felt quite monotone to me. It seemed as if the protagonist was just describing everything in Singapore. Also, the story does not seem to bring out the them of 'Becoming'. The protagonist does not interact with other people and it seems like he is just trying out things, not trying to fit in. There are a few grammatical errors but that's skill alright. I think that you could maybe give us a more detailed description of the protagonist, such as his name, favourites. You might also want to add an event that happened, which shows the protagonist trying to fit in and 'become'.
ReplyDeleteThe story is still quite a good one. You brought out the significant attractions of Singapore. With so many details about Singapore, the theme seems to be 'Identity' more than 'Becoming'.
Many of your sentence starts with the word "i". You are just listing down what you did in Singapore and describing the food and places of interest. It seems as if it is a guidebook of Singapore with a storyline. It might help if you add in more interesting stuff and change the format a little bit. You can also talk about your photographer job and meeting some Singaporean friends
ReplyDelete"There are a few grammatical errors but that's SKILL alright" from Jun Liang
ReplyDeleteSuppose to be still?
ironic...
ReplyDelete